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Today, I was lamenting that because my paternal grandmother's father [great-grandfather] was adopted.
Grace: "I'm so sad!"
Mom: "What, why? Why would you be sad?"
Grace: "This means I can no longer accurately trace my lineage!"
Mom: "What do you care? We all came from the same ancestor -- we're all from monkeys, anyway!"
The spirit of that, at least, was correct. :) I guess eventually the lineage works out all right, anyway.
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My mom: "In love, one plus one does not equal two -- you just have to understand that!"
I don't even attempt to deconvolve this one.
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Normally I try to avoid situations where I blatantly talk about uncouth topics, but I decided this one may be too good to pass up.
Here's an FML-styled story. Yes, it's real. And yes, it happened to me today.
"Today, my mom ranted about the depravity of my generation, shouting and screaming. Apparently, she believes that kissing should be considered sex. I'm 21 years old, and now I know why I'm an only child. FML"
I think I have to leave the discussion right here.
Here's the MHC (my good friend from MIT)'s anecdote, in another similar style:
"Today, I freaked out because I couldn't find my fourth Harry Potter book, after I finished the third. I found it and felt much better. MLIA"
Well, essentially.
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On characters in the movie Howards End (I still have to read the book).
Grace: "Yeah, I saw that a while ago -- I only remember Leonard [one of the characters] because he was the only character that I really liked. So I was wondering whether I could name my [future] kid Leonard.
But then I realized that I probably shouldn't."
Mom: "LORD, Leonard? You'd name my grandson Leonard? As long as I'm alive, you aren't!
Or if you name him that, then when I see him, I'm gonna call him some other name!"
Can you imagine how crazy that would be? It'd be like:
[Ten years from now]
Grace: "Leonard, be a good boy and say hello to Poh Poh, okay?"
Leonard: "Hello, Poh Poh!"
Mom: "Hello, Joey."
I mean, it's kind of absurd...
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Shuo, excitedly: "HEY! I have a good joke/riddle for you!
What, when you kill it, bleeds your own blood?"
Grace: "What...? When you kill it...it bleeds your own....blood...."
Shuo: "Yeah! [Pause] C'mon, man -- think! What bleeds your own blood?"
Grace: "Uhh....thinking...."
Shuo: "It's really easy! C'mon!"
Grace: "A porcupine!"
Shuo, disappointed: "....NO!!! >_____< GRACE!"
Grace: "I mean, have you ever tried to kill a porcupine? With your bare hands? It's gotta really hurt."
Shuo: "NO! That's not the right answer! YOUR blood, YOUR blood!
[Long pause.] You could've said a mosquito! Or a tick!"
Grace: "Actually, I was going to say 'a durian,' but that's not something you kill, really..."
Shuo, loudly sighing: "FORGET IT. Just FORGET IT. Goddddd......."
[Grace, later telling her dad the riddle]
Dad, within seconds: "Hmm. A mosquito."
Grace: "YEAH, that's right!"
Dad: "Well, what else could it be?"
Grace: "I said porcupine."
Dad: "What kind of an answer...? >___<"
Hey, I'm scatter-brained. What can I say?
(Hmm, I wonder if there's any particular reason this is a female. Dootdootdoo....)
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